Four Ways to Hack Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a relationship land mine or dutiful display of forced romance. Instead, think of the day as a useful tool for revealing the truth. Here’s how:

1. Ask Yourself: Do I give a crap? If you’re honest, you may discover that even while Valentine’s Day is important to your partner, you have no real desire to make an effort. If you’re going through the motions purely to avoid a dreary argument, you’re probably with the wrong person. You deserve to be with someone whose happiness is important to you. And they deserve to be with someone who really cares.

2. Be Super Sincere: If you’re so crazy about this person you met five weeks ago that you want to do something lunatic like sending five dozen roses and a mariachi band, go ahead. If your heart says, “I like spending time with you for now but I don’t really see a future for us,” say it over dinner. You can only hide the truth for so long. Whatever’s ultimately going to happen in the relationship, a little honesty on Valentine’s Day will get you there faster.

3. Express Yourself Okay, so you have a strange way of expressing affection—you like making her jewelry out of obscurely branded beer bottle caps, or you spend hours making him a sparkly ironic kitten collage. Yes, your partner might think it’s stupid and weird. Maybe your partner is right! But if you’re potentially going to be with someone for years, it had better someone who appreciates the way you say I Love You. Why not find out today?

4. Review If you did your best to create a perfect evening and your sweetie is still disappointed, something’s wrong. Maybe you two just aren’t communicating so well. Maybe this person has expectations beyond what you can possibly fulfill. Or maybe this is a person who simply can’t be pleased. Either way, it’s time for a talk. Maybe next year, you can spend the big day with someone who appreciates the awesomeness of your weirdly awesome self.